A Letter To A Best Friend On Her Wedding Day

Dear S,

When we were in Elementary school in Grace, I can’t count the number of times people confused us for sisters. We pretty much had the same height and built, we had the same last names (CHING), people thought we looked alike, we both had BEAUTIFUL mothers who graced the parking lots as if it were their runways, and it didn’t help that we were always joined at the hip! Remember Mang Nards? The "manong" at the canteen selling us our favorite tetra pack juices?! He always confused one of us for the other CHING sister and could never quite tell us apart. Back then when we were still kids, I didn’t realize the true meaning of friendship YET, but my, was it a lot of fun to have somebody who shared the same interests as I did at that time and somebody to hang out during lunch and recess. We had our own little clique with Madeline and Heidi. 

 

Come High School, things changed when I got separated from our barkada. I was assigned to a different classroom. And at the time, that was like the end of the world for me. I knew absolutely NO ONE and all my friends felt so far away even if you were technically only a few classrooms away from me. Since I was forced to find my own way by making new friends and adjusting to a different environment, we got caught up in our separate worlds that being friends seemed harder. And we didn’t try hard enough to maintain that closeness. I know that "I" didn’t try hard enough and I always regretted that after high school. But I knew that we were both fine, it’s just that we lived different lives already and it always felt like I lost a very big part of me, I felt like I lost a sister. It feels weird that somebody who was so close to you before now feels like a stranger. 

Fast forward many years later, I can’t remember who reached out to whom, but we got reconnected somehow. It felt like old times to be talking and laughing again…and it was our love of the TV show phenomenon GOSSIP GIRL and our passion for FASHION that truly made our bond stronger. Like Blair and Serena, we’re best friends who will do anything for each other. Like Blair and Serena, we don’t always see eye to eye about things yet in the end always find our way back as sisters. Like Blair and Serena, we will always protect each other. I know that we’re ready to fight each other’s battles no matter who we’re facing. Like Blair and Serena, we can accomplish anything if we do it together. Remember stalking ED WESTWICK at Manila Peninsula and doing that successfully?! And finally, Like Blair and Serena, we cannot live without SHOPPING and of course, gossiping! Girls will be girls, after all.

 

Like Blair, I’m the prim and proper one who likes things in her control and like Serena, you’re the free spirit who’s not afraid of experimenting and being a REBEL (especially when it comes to fashion). Where Blair is CLASSIC and TIMELESS like me, Serena is CURRENT and EVER-CHANGING like you… but it’s those differences that make us bring out the best in each other. We don’t have to compete because we shine in our own ways. I think that’s what makes our relationship special and unique. :) I know I do not share this kind of bond with anyone else. Now that we’re older, I realize now what true friendship means and it’s the kind that I share with you. In this ever-changing world, it's nice to have that sense of security of having friends who will always accept and love you for who you are. You'll always be my "S" and I'll always be your "B"!

 

On your wedding day, I SHOULD be there…if only you got married sooner than me! We would’ve have had so much fun making your dream wedding happen. I regret missing this once-in-a-lifetime occasion in your life. Nevertheless, I know you’ll look BEAUTIFUL, and I know you will achieve that rebellious bride look you’ve always wanted. By the time that you have to walk down that aisle, remember that THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. Take it all in. Take each breath with gratitude and a positive spirit, knowing that this day was meant for you and your groom BIRDS to enjoy, remember, and CHERISH all your lives. Appreciate the family and friends who are there to celebrate this union with you…because without them it will mean nothing. 

 

As a couple, you’ve been together for 10 years. That gives me so much comfort knowing that this relationship is tried and tested to last the next 60-70 years! But November 24, 2012 is another start to your life now as an OFFICIAL married couple. Enjoy this new beginning of your journey as husband and wife. I couldn't be happier for you two lovebirds! CONGRATULATIONS! May you enjoy life's blessings and endure life's trials together with the strength of your love. I love you both! 

XOXO,

B

The Effervescent Kimberly

I first saw Kimberly Tan-Evangelista or Kim as an emcee when I was an entourage member of my best friend Katherine Ang-Tan’s wedding last 2009. And for the first time, I was truly drawn to an emcee’s manner of hosting. Normally, I am the kind of guest who is REALLY cooperative during weddings. From the ceremony to the reception, I am always patient in listening and being attentive to the mass, the speeches (even if they're 30 minutes long), the videos…everything. It’s my way of respecting the fact that it’s the couple’s big day and if I can give them a few hours of my time, I’ll certainly make it count. I’ll laugh at the funny moments, cry when the mood becomes sentimental. In short, I make a good audience! But this time around, I was even more focused because, aside from Kim’s overall pleasant and lovely disposition, she captivates everybody through her dynamic hosting skills. She speaks Chinese and English so eloquently that you can’t help but pay attention. And as a girl, I appreciated the fact that she made an effort to wear a long gown for the formal event and made sure that she blended in perfectly with the elegant backdrop of the ballroom. By the end of the night, even if I had no plans of getting married YET at the time, I told myself that I’ll get her as my emcee if a wedding were in my future.

Kimberly with my best friends Kathy and Harvey (2009)

When the time came for me to plan for my own wedding, Kim Tan was one of my non-negotiables. I wasn’t the type of bride who would canvass several wedding suppliers before finding the right one. I basically knew who I wanted just by remembering their performances in the weddings of my sisters, my cousins or my friends. Before my first meeting with Kim, my best friend Katherine told me that she’s very nice and that she’s always on time…and that is a trait that I truly appreciate. True enough, on every single meeting that we had -- and we had at least 4 meetings prior to the wedding day -- she was always punctual, usually arriving a few minutes before the scheduled time. After our first encounter, I knew that she was indeed the best candidate to host the program for our reception dinner. It felt as if I were simply talking to a new found friend because I felt comfortable sharing my thoughts with her as she listens with interest. She’s not the type to impose anything on you as a bride. She will adjust to your style and personality and she does it with ease. She had a lot of brainstorming ideas to make the program more fun and exciting. I thought that somebody young, vibrant, and elegant like her would best represent me and Jarvis as a couple. I should also probably mention that she is a true lady. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her dress down in jeans… she was always wearing a dress. And I remember during our final meeting with all the suppliers together…I looked so tired and haggard (given that the wedding is only a few days away and I was so stressed out) but she came in looking fresh and blooming. At that time I thought, “She should be the bride!” 

  

Both sets of parents did not know Kim yet and have not seen her in any wedding, but I knew in my heart that she wasn’t going to disappoint. I was, in fact, very excited for them to witness her hosting skills for themselves on the wedding day and have them be as enthralled as I was when I first discovered her from Katherine's event.

About 4 months to the wedding day, I received a phone call from Kim. She sounded like her usual cheery self but there was a tinge of apprehension in her voice. She then broke the news that she was pregnant. I think around 2 months at that time if I’m not mistaken. That means that by December 18, 2011, our wedding date, she’ll be 6 months into her pregnancy term. This didn’t really come as a shock to me. I knew she was recently married and in fact, I mentioned to my sisters and several friends that she might get pregnant during the time of my wedding. I called it… and it happened! In Chinese customs, I knew that those who upheld traditional and strict beliefs prefer to avoid pregnant women in wedding ceremonies. They believed that you’ll be taking away some of your own “luck” when someone pregnant is present. They say it’s like having a tug of war on prosperity and of course, you do not want to risk losing your luck. But for me personally, I didn’t see it that way. I respected beliefs and I’ll follow customs to please elders, but I saw her being pregnant as a blessing. I would never think of somebody getting pregnant as bad news! Kim then asked me if we were going to continue with her as our emcee for the program. And I told her on the spot, YES! But that I needed to confirm with my groom’s side because I do not want to cause any issues. It turns out that there wasn’t any because my groom said that as long as she can still do the job, there shouldn't be a problem! I was so relieved and happy that everything was still going according to plan. Kim assured me, albeit needlessly, that she’s not going to have a huge tummy yet and that she’ll wear a decent dress for the occasion. I knew that no matter what, she was going to show up still looking fabulous.

Kim was not only our emcee for our wedding, she was kind enough to do the voiceover for our Prenuptial Audio Video Presentation as well. She didn’t hesitate to lend her speaking voice in telling our love story throughout our video. And despite having to go back to the recording studio a few times just to correct some issues, she willingly did it because she wanted things to be perfect for me and Jarvis. She had that initiative and I’m truly grateful to have someone like her involved in our wedding. She went above and beyond expectations.

Kim hosting our wedding program

During the wedding reception, our coordinator said that when Kim arrived at the ballroom of The Peninsula Manila, she was only carrying a copy of the program…a piece of paper. If “I” had to speak in public, I’ll probably bring a notebook or flash cards just so I can remember everything. You can tell that this comes naturally to her and that she always comes prepared. She wore a nude empire dress that made her look elegant. Her gold accessories were a wonderful contrast to her subdued dress. The fact that she was pregnant may have been unorthodox to some people, but to me it just made her GLOW even more.

The Charming Kimberly... I love the accessories!

The entire program went smoothly from beginning to end. She was able to do everything that we requested of her. There was never a dull moment, as several guests told me. In fact, one of my sisters (whom we call the number one critic of everything of all time) commented…that for the very first time, a wedding program held her attention up until the end of the night. And knowing my sister, that is a major compliment and I attribute a substantial part of that success to Kim. The couple’s game that she prepared for my sisters and their husbands AND Jarvis' brothers and their wives to participate in was very entertaining and incredibly fun to watch! 

The Couple's Game: How Well Do You Know Your Spouse?

A Candid Moment

Kim gracefully saying that the answers do not match

Having laughs during the game

Our parents were very much impressed and satisfied with her overall performance. Relatives were interested to get her as a host for their own events. And some people actually thought that she was my friend and not a hired supplier for the wedding...maybe because the manner in which she conducted the whole program was very personal and intimate. It was exactly how Jarvis and I pictured our wedding reception program.

Even if the wedding was just ONE DAY, Kim has definitely touched my life beyond that occasion. In our "thank you" card after the event, I wrote, "You are truly an exquisite woman and we’re so blessed to have had you in our wedding". Some people tell me that after a wedding, their relationships with their suppliers end. But with Kim I can say that I've gained more than an acquaintance. I truly wish all the best in life for her.